An ambivert's journal… Books, Doodles, Arts and Random thoughts…
Ever bought a deck of playing cards? Ever noticed how beautifully they’re packed. There organised presence is so satisfying… Until you grab and shuffle them.
You can’t just put them as they are and sooth your eyes. Only a shuffled deck can be useful. Only a shuffled deck can be taken. Only the shuffled one is the one who plays the role.
We are nothing but a deck. Cards are our every tiny bit of ourselves. They’re shuffled. We are shuffled. By society, by our pasts, by persons we care or by the choices we make and we face. But remember, only the shuffled deck is of use.
Our shuffled soul has a purpose. We have a purpose. We are her for a reason. Never be upset. Never curse yourself. Help yourself. Respect yourself. 🖤
Dream is not just a picture or a black and white short film showing in your eyes when you sleep. It’s the snap you see when you’re awake. When you are fully conscious. When you’re not drugged!
People often says, dreams are not really achievable always. I don’t agree. If you try, you will be succeed. Here comes the way of struggle.
When you take the less traveled path, you know it’s hard. It’s full of stones, bushes, thorns and storms. Before taking a step to fulfill your dream just stop for a moment. Think.
Can you live a life happily and peacefully if you can’t achieve your dream?
Can you walk till the road ends?
These two questions are very tough to answer. Specially the last one. Because we know, if we don’t fulfill our dreams, we will live anyway. But if we stop walking midway, we would have no choice to return. Coz we would have wasted all our energy in it.
So, don’t step further if you have doubts. Take a step when you know you can struggle.
The word “STRUGGLE” is simply overrated.
It is not as difficult as people think. You only have to maintain few basic things. Rest will be in hand of “TIME”.
NEVER LIE TO YOURSELF – Never comfort yourself by saying “This is not my thing. I can’t do this.” – Yes, you can. If you can Dream this, you can Achieve this.
NEVER INSULT YOURSELF – If you don’t respect yourself, world will not. Nobody knows your power except you. SO, mean it.
BE SPECIFIC TO WHAT YOU WANT – Only you know what you want.If you want to be a model, don’t go for a poetry competition. Obviously you can be a multi talented person. But remember, there is only one thing in the top. Rest are just the secondary. Find your priority.
BE STUBBORN – Don’t listen to anything that can question your sanity. Go mad for your dreams.
BE A GIVER – Until you give, you won’t have new space for things that will come. Free your soul. Be kind, Helpful and approachable.
BE POSITIVE – Never forget, you will see failure many times. If you can’t handle a failure, how can you handle the success?
LEARN TO TAKE NEGATIVE FEEDBACK IN A POSITIVE WAY.
STRUGGLE is BEAUTIFUL, if you can see the BEAUTY. It is not about being paranoid and ranting “Oh how can I be successful! I am so fucked up with my job, I don’t get any motivation for my dream!”. Struggle is about being calm, methodical and disciplined. Struggle is all about finding motivation within yourself.
Struggle is the way of searching answers yourself. Struggling is devotion. Struggle is itself a drug. Once you get the euphoria of struggle, nobody can stop you.
Many times, people enter into depression. Depression is nothing lesser than Cancer. It can kill a person internally, even force him or her to end their life. If you are the person going through a very depressing state, just wait. The moment you think you should end your walk, stop. Take some rest. Talk to others. And if you have nobody to talk, Write a blog. Yes, it is a great way of unburdening yourself. I do this. When you start watching people responding to your thoughts, you will know you have crossed ten steps forward without even knowing. If you start walking, the universe will help you. BUT before that, You have to START the walk.
When you are struggling, mundane thoughts no more disturb you. You don’t have time to think about the guy or girl you wished you could date. You don’t have the time to remember your unrequited love. You don’t feel any interest in thinking about how painful your past was. This is the beauty of the journey.
Ask for help, if you need one.
Research your topic of interest.
Give some time in thinking.
Stop having small talk. Your journey is long. Don’t waste energy in useless things.
Don’t sit and think success will come to you as a gift.
Make sure you do at least one productive thing each day.
Stop getting influenced by social media. They are dangerous.
Value what you have. Many people don’t even have that.
Value relationships. With parents, friends, partner or coworkers!
Once you know yourself, your dreams become plans! The harder the way, prettier the sunrise. Never forget, YOUR STRUGGLE IS A PART OF YOUR STORY.
Aren’t we all nothing but a seed at the beginning?
Like when a seed grows into a sapling, it’s a cumulative effect. The soil, the seed, the air, the water and obviously the sun himself. It then takes their help, tries its best and grows into a plant. But it never forgets the help he once got. He returns it to everyone. By enriching the soil, cleaning the air, giving shelter to a life and obviously by bearing the ultimate fruit. I’m not saying a tree which is not capable of producing a fruit, is a failure as a living being. It does what it could do maximally. They returns the help by any mean other than that.
Don’t you think we too are just like a seed? we need help of others to be ultimate fruitful in our life. It can be some financial support, some physical presence at some moment, any certain help in our academics or business, or even a little gesture. And most importantly, what we need is the spiritual support!
What most of us lack.
Now coming to the term “Giver and Taker”. If you don’t know what I mean by these two words, let me clear. And for understanding purpose, I have a beautiful YouTube video from TED, attached here.
Now, Are you a Giver, or a Taker?
There are three basic kinds of people: givers, takers and matchers. Some people approach life from the perspective of what they can do for other people, while other people approach life seeking what they can get from others.
As we grow, I’ve seen, most of the us not getting the much needed support from their lifelines. Either they’re simply not interested in your work or you’re such a giver that you ultimately lost your value in their life.
You will get some givers in your life. They will sooth you either by mean of an extended hand of help or just even by their presence. A little smile or a hug can be of so help, you have no idea. Their presence will help you. Some of them may be extremely blunt or ruthless while giving a feedback, some may be the comfort when you’re down, some may help you doing the project work. So basically you will feel an aura of positivity around them.
Reverse ( or kinda different ) is when the person is a taker. He or she will never feel grateful for what they have, rather they are sad for the things they lost. They will seek your help. They will feel unhappy with the world. Sometimes you can see them sitting and ranting about how harsh the world is for them. The world never helps them grow, never gives them what they need, never let them be happy. They just overlook what they actually get from the world. These seeds when grow up, they become of no use. They seek help, ask for favor, believes that the deserve the favor but never thanks. They don’t help you grow. Their thoughts whirl around only one thing, ‘Things that they couldn’t get’.
Unlike the seed, human can get acclimatized faster, and when a giver acclimatize silently, we call it burnout. A burnout giver is a great loss for the people around.
The third group as mentioned in the video is the clever ones. But do they always get what they want? Not really. But at least they can balance between giving and taking. They’re not broken like us, givers.
Hence, if you are a giver, never stop giving. IF we stop giving, we won’t be in peace anyway. The pain of not giving is also excruciating, rather more than the pain of falseness of takers.
So if you feel like you’re tired of giving someone too much and ultimately left with not a single penny in your mental health, don’t stop giving. Give it to some Matcher. At least they know how to balance. Because if you don’t get any ask for help, you will gradually lose your self esteem, you will feel abandoned. Restrain yourself from activities that harms your mental peace.
If you feel you’re not getting the support from your people don’t break down. Fight from the grass-root level, go through the worst and then shine. This shine will have an aura of self satisfaction, happiness and peace. Don’t wait for any feedback from the takers. Stop expecting a support from them. Indulge yourself in your own life, spend time alone, carry on your work. Feedback will automatically come to you. If you stop expecting help from certain people, you will get help unknowing from many more. And more over feedback doesn’t mean “criticism” always. A simple pat on your shoulder, a gentle ‘Thanks” can make huge difference.
Watch it !
Do what makes you calmer from inside. Stop expecting from others. Fight alone. Find people who are also hopeless giver and hug them ( virtually, if not face to face ), respect any feedback you get. Honestly if you get only five likes for your post or only two claps after your performance, that’s a great achievement.